Are you an idiot?
If you can’t use a computer, you are an
idiot. Don’t give me bullshit them being around ever since I was child or any other bullshit you can come up with. These things are so user friendly they make power users cringe in their little corners. We have to find ways to make these damn things more customizable (read: confusing) for us to play with. If you can’t hook a computer up, you are an idiot. ALL THE PLUGS ONLY FIT IN ONE PLACE. Except the mouse and keyboard. And those are color coded. If the screen says, “Please enter your new password: ___________.” THAT MEANS TYPE IN YOUR NEW FUCKING PASWORD!
On an unrelated note, I hate Senior Vice Presidents. I hate their bitch ass secretaries. I hate PHI South. Cry me a fucking river.
Fair and balanced my ass
Fox News blows. Straight up. Blows. Sorry if you have a problem with that. But let me elaborate.
I went upstairs to grab a cup of tea. Fox News was on the TV in the lunch room. The host was discussing the rising cost of textbooks. The statistic that they threw out there was that the average college student spent 900 dollars a year on books and supplies. He then proceeded to begin an interview with some idiot from some organization (which is probably an idiotic organization if they are willing to let this guy represent them).
He proceeded to tell the host that the problem did not exist with the publishers or the schools. He said that the problem was with the amount of federal money that was being given to students was much too high. So they could afford to buy 900 dollars worth of books every year. He pointed out that since students were getting so much money from the government, in turn, let publishers and schools, for that matter, spend more money on more frivolous things, such as cd-roms in books and elaborate expensive sporting facilities (and, if I may add, bricks).
His solution to this problem? Reduce federal grants for education. He urged everyone to send a letter to their congressman requesting that they reduce federal spending on college grants.
If that guy was anywhere near me when I heard, I might have punched him in the face. He wants to reduce federal money that is helping our populace become more educated. Money that is helping students who, otherwise, would have not have had the chance at a college education. It isn’t the fault of the students that publishers and schools are taking them for all they are worth. It is not the fault of the students that they have to buy the new edition of books because a couple words changed here and there. It’s not the fault of the students that publishers put in useless cd-roms in books that no one uses. It’s not the students fault that idiotic overpaid university presidents waste school money on putting bricks down on school pathways. And install million dollar fountains that look like shit. And buy up houses near campus because the students who live there don’t keep it clean enough and we can’t have UD looking like party school.
Yeah, well, FUCK YOU (not you, the guy). Students are forced to overpay for useless services because of people like you. Instead of telling us the government is wrong for helping students, perhaps you need to get on the publishers and schools for raping them. Then the money that the government throws their way won’t go to waste. It’s one of the few places our government has made a sincere and effective investment in the future of our country and its people. And individuals like yourself are trying to ruin it.
Oh yeah. Fox News blows for having this guy on.
OH NO!
OH NO! OH NO! I just saw it! I just saw it!
I just saw the preview for Nip/Tuck Season 3. Premiere is Tuesday, September 20.
In the words of Lawrence, "Fuckin' A."
What's my age again?
Whoa. I’m getting old. Well, not really. This how I know.
A couple minutes ago, I just forgot how old I was. I knew I was either 22 or 23. But, I didn’t remember which. I had to calculate it out right quick to figure it out. (I’m 23, btw)
To be fair, I’m still in the transitional period right after a birthday where one has to get accustomed to saying the new number when asked, “How old are you?” But usually, you say the old number, in this case, 22, but then very rapidly remember the right answer, in this case, 23, and rapidly retract your previous answer.
However, this time, I just zonked out. I didn’t know and had to math it out. It was weird.
And then I realized it didn't matter anyway. After 21, you can do everything. No more restrictions due to age. Except car rental. But, even then, thats only at some places. Car rental dosen't matter anyways.
I’m sure you guys care.
Dilbert would be proud
As I sit in my cubicle, taking in all the sights and sounds of the corporate world, it never cease to amaze me at the amount of ridiculosity going on around me. Seriously, there is enough bureaucracy around here to make Scott Adams blush.
My supervisor sits in the cubicle next to me. He was on the phone with the supervisor from another group. Now, I can only hear one side of the conversation, and I know EXACTLY what’s going on. Keep in mind that I don’t know what he is talking about. They are discussing the new environment and I pretty much only deal with the legacy environment.
I have never heard my boss so angry. Well, except that one time he flipped out on the printer. But he wasn’t my boss back then. He was explaining everything clear as day. And then the next thing I would hear is:
“No... No.... NO! Bill, you are not listening to me! Bill... Bill... BILL! OK, two days ago, you wanted me to clear all changes with everybody and now you want me to make sweeping changes to the server without telling anyone?......... That dosen’t make any sense…… BILL! You are not listening to what I’m saying. You need to make up your mind... do you want me to...”
And it went on. And on. And on. Words were slightly different, however, the subject matter was still the same.
I went over to some of the other guys and said, “5 bucks he screams as soon as he gets off the phone.” To be fair, I was wrong. After he got off the phone, he was so angry he couldn’t even yell about it.
Did I mention that I love my job?
Poopface
I had some stuff I wanted to post before. However, I held off ‘cause it wasn’t comical. And dammit, I said the next post would be comical. And the time has come. We have been saved. Saved by an icky icky icky story.
So remember that friend’s grandmother in
this blog? Well, apparently at some point during course of the night she made a pilgrimage to the bathroom. After dropping the kids off at the pool, she then proceeded to wipe using the local hand towel. Eww. After the wiping was completed, she went ahead and folded the towel up all nice and pretty and put it back on the rack.
Yeah, you know what's coming, don't you?
The next day, after a meal, my friend’s little brother headed on into said bathroom. He went on to wash his hands, you know, the usual stuff that a somewhat sanitary individual would mind to.
He then, with an innocence that will never be recovered, grabbed the towel and without realizing, used the towel to wipe… his mouth…
I’m told it was the smell that first brought the substance to his attention.
If I write anything else, I think it would ruin the moment.
Posts removed
After re-reading the two posts that were here, I've decided to take them down. I had a bad week, tempers flared, etc. People who should have gotten the message did. Thanks to good people. Down with the baddies. Everyone else is given the benefit of doubt. :)
Peace.
What did the five fingers say to the face?
Let me start by saying, this story will be nowhere near as good as it was in person. It’s not even in the same ballpark. Hell, it’s not even in the same country. Regardless, I felt that it had to be immortalized somewhere. Even if the four people who were there are the only ones to laugh, it needs to be put down somewhere. Well, enough blathering, on to the story.
Lex, Tommy, Troy and, I decided to go out Saturday night. We figured we would just get some wings and some beer and relax and have a good time. We get to the place and ‘round 10:30 and got ourselves some food and some beer, exactly as planned. After the food was gone the idea of going to Philly was brought up.
This is how things always start. One guy throws out a random idea. “Let’s go to Philly.” Or, “let’s go to AC.” Then another guy puts on a serious face and says, “OK, let’s go.” So, then we have to go. Works everytime.
To give you an accurate picture, the seating arrangement on the way to Philly was as follows:
Driver: Sunder
Front Passenger: Tommy
Rear Left Passenger: Lex
Rear Right Passenger: Troy
We began a conversation where we are talked about how much money would it take for us to do things. Stuff like, “Would you kill a man for 10 million dollars?” Somehow, during the course of this conversation, Troy discovered that he may need more money than he has at the time.
Naturally, Lex offers to give Troy 20 dollars in exchange for letting him punch Troy in the balls. That offer was quickly rejected. Smart move on Troy’s part. Probably the only smart move of the evening. The remaining part of the conversation is below:
Lex: OK, I’ll give you two dollars if you let me slap you in the face… I’ll hit you with my backhand.
Troy: No man, that’s gonna hurt. It’s gonna hurt man…
Tommy: Do itttttttt!
Sunder: Cmon, do itttttttttttt!
Lex: OK, I’ll give you one dollar to slap you in the face, right now, open hand.
Tommy: Ohhhhhh noooooo!
Sunder: Cmonnnnnnn man, do it! Do it!
Tommy: Ohhhhhh noooooo!
Troy: I don’t know man, it’s gonna hurt. I don’t think I should… I don’t know. Man, I don’t know.....
Sunder: DOOO ITTTTT!!!
Troy: mmm, I think… I mean… I don’t know………. OK, I think might do it…. OK… All right man! Yeah, I’ll do…
*SLAP*
It was absolutely priceless. He didn’t even wait until Troy finished his sentence.
Best dollar ever spent.
